Fuck it’s hard right now…

The world is heavy right now and our constant access to information isn’t helping the situation. Waking up and being exposed to war, abuse of people and power, cost of living, homophobia, transphobia, racism, division, plus the world literally burning around us. 💁🏽‍♀️

Add on top of that our 'responsibility' to be the perfect partner, friend, colleague, perform/ progress at work, eat this, don’t eat that, wear this, should I wear that, am I good enough, lose weight, exercise, sleep better, be more, do more... is it any wonder life feels harder than ever.

The first thing you need to stop worrying is that you taking time for yourself is wrong. I am not sat writing here having all the answers or even telling you I am amazing at this (far from it, ask Simone 👀😬). But I am sat here telling you 'selfish' isn't always bad thing.

I'm no expert but I do have some thoughts I want to share. Let's start with you can’t pour from an empty cup. To show up for others, you have to show up for yourself first. 

What we all need are boundaries.

Tip number one: spend less time on our phones; try not to look at the news or social media for the first and last 30 minutes of the day. We aren’t designed to be this switched on for so much of the day. Just sit. Sip. Maybe do some journalling. Read?

Secondly, sometimes we need to step outside of our lives and do something for ourselves.

For me I decompress and ‘escape’ my mind in multiple ways:

• I love putting my headphones on and thrusting (if you watch my IG stories you’ll know what I mean 🍑)

• I enjoy going for a hot chocolate or food with my friends and having deep conversations and a laugh

• Seeing a show, watching a film

• Spending time in the kitchen cooking - I LOVE chopping veg evenly 🙈

• Our Zumba classes - the combination and movement and music has been a life saver for me many times.

As you can tell, I’m not very good at sitting still, so practical mindfulness for me.

Third tip, self-care. This week I treated myself to an amazing Korean scented hand cream from Pure Seoul. Sounds weird but putting that on and sniffing my hands just before I go to sleep brings me a moment of joy. Yep, sniffing your hands can be self-care.

A moment of calm before I sleep: lighting a Fig & Cassis candle in the bedroom before I read my book and go to sleep. Sometimes it's the little things.

Your body, mind and emotions are not strangers to each other; if you are stressed your body feels this and physically embodies it. You might notice your breath shallower, your shoulders elevated and your head tense.

Taking care of yourself physically takes care of your emotional and mental wellbeing, and vice versa. It’s all part of the same thing. So it’s important to prioritise taking care of all areas of yourself and your life.

The final bit is to start and say ‘no’ more often.

As a people pleaser I find it so hard, but I remember someone saying “everytime you say ‘yes’ to the wrong thing, you’re saying ‘no’ to the right thing”. We all have limited time, bandwidth and energy. You can't do everything. So make sure you prioritise it for things which bring you joy and make you smile. 

And yes, you’re going to get some pushback if you start and enforce boundaries, but you and your needs matter.

Now, I’m not saying avoidance is not the answer, we have to acknowledge what is happening in our lives and the world, but we also don’t want to spend 24 hours sitting in it and staring at the injustice and destruction in the world. 

But if we want to stand up for what's right, or fight for what we believe in, we can’t pour from an empty cup.

Right now there are many things in the world I feel powerless and helpless about. At these moments I focus on what I can have a positive impact on in the world. For me that is the lives of the people around me; my friends, family and my local community. 

If you want to look after the people you love in your life, you have to start by looking after yourself. 

Mic drop. 

xoxo